And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
