i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
