Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
