Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize