Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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