$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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