So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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