Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
