Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I skipped work to stalk him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
