what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
