when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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