i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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