i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
