tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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