honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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