If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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