need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize