i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
