Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
