just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
