i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
