my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
