You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
