JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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