Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we're making bets on your personal life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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