He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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