You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
