And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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