you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
