So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
