He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
