did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
