is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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