i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You're a waste of cheezeits
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
