...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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