my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize