ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
