sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
handjob tips. give me some.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
