My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
