We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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