he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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