This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
