Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
this is an emotional support booty call
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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