I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
