What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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