She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
