I think I died a long time ago.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
