There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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