I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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