like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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