So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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