after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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