TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
