Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
