She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
