So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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