FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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