butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
