Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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