I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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